September 4, 2015 at about 9:00 p.m. - A friend's son was suddenly destitiute, and as she lived close by in a tiny studio apartment, I said he could stay at my house.  I was at work most of the time, and since he had his own bedroom, bathroom and refrigerator, I rarely saw him at all.  He was extremely quiet and polite, and I thought he just needed space.  I was wrong.

I was sewing in my living room watching T.V., my back to the kitchen.  He walked from his bedroom to the kitchen and asked how my day was as he passed me, we exchanged the average pleasantries, I continued sewing and a few minutes passed, I wasn't really paying attention to what he was doing.  Then something hard hit the top of my head.  I remember wondering if it was an earthquake or a plane crash from the sky... I was dazed.  It happened again and I struggled to think.  I was instinctively afraid to look up in case it hit again, but after the third hit, I knew I had to and I did.  It was then I saw the axe to my right.

I have never experienced an adrenalin rush like that in my life.  Everything happened so fast, I instantly grabbed for the handle of it from the side and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground, both of my hands were gripping the side of the handle as he stood over me, his hands on the other side of the handle, and I think it was the side of the axe that he was hitting my face with as I sat on the floor, propped up by the side of a table.  I realized I had a perfect shot at, well, his most vulnerable area and I kicked upward with everything I had, but it seemed to be in slow motion.  I don't know if I was really weak or if my mind was going so fast that everything seemed slow, but it seemed a pathetic attempt to me.  

I know what it feels like to think life is over, as it feels like your body is like a stone castle, and someone is breaking down the walls far away.  You know the walls are crumbling, almost to the ground now, you can hear it, you can sense it but somehow it doesn't hurt.  It's far away.  And there is peace.  A calming peace, and I was okay.  But then I thought, what is this kid doing with his life? I honestly felt concern for him and shouted his name and said, "you don't want to do this!"

He stopped, brought his face close to mine and looked at something, then he let go of the axe and went into his bedroom.  I'll never know if he went in there to get his shotgun to finish me off, or if he had a moment of clarity after a psychotic break.  I don't know why he suddenly went to his room, but as soon as he did, I got up as fast as I could and ran out the front door, through my large front yard, past the gate and into the neighborhood street.  I knew I was in a bad way so I started shouting for an ambulance. 

My neighbors told me they didn't recognize me, that I looked like Carrie carrying an axe and still they rushed out to help me.  WHO would run out to help a bloody stranger carrying an axe? I would have called 9-1-1, but I still can't believe they came and led me to safety.  By the time we made it to the sidewalk on the other side of the street, I realized I was still holding on to the axe and dropped it. There was a lot of screaming, one of my neighbors was hysterical, but another took over, told someone to call the police, told another to get towels to wrap my head, and kept reassuring me she wouldn't leave me until the police came.  But there were four other horrible things happening in my town on that night, and it took a long time, plus they were gathering a swat team.  I told them to be sure to tell the police that there was a gun in my house, I was thinking of my own.  I didn't know he had an arsenal in his room, and the detective later told me they think he was getting ready to "do a Columbine" on a local pizza place that he used to work at. But no one will ever really know, because as we waited across the street, we heard two loud gunshots, one right after the other.  He was in the backyard and killed himself with a shotgun.  The detective said that everyone in the surrounding homes near my back wall reported hearing one shot, while everyone across the street heard two.  They said it was common, it was an echo effect off the stone wall.

I thought he must have been on something, but the autopsy showed only pot.  There was a prescription in his room from planned parenthood and people that knew him said he was going through the transgender process, but I never saw him dressed as anything except a man.  I sometimes heard strange voices and was concerned he might have someone else staying there.  We never argued, I never asked him to do anything, maybe I angered him by watching Fox news every night after work, or maybe my watching Roku messed up his internet videogames, I don't know.  Maybe it was like the detectives thought, they said it was a pattern, kill the roomate quietly so as not to tip anyone off before killing many more.  All I know is it was tragic, so tragic.  His mom later showed me some pictures he had drawn that had some demonic symbolism, and he had a post on his facebook page that read in part: "Evil is its only permanence. God is not alive. Love cannot be trusted."  People don't realize how they get tangled up in the traps of the enemy.  "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." (1 Peter 5:8)

THE MIRACLES and glory to GOD in all of this is that I am alive.  The axe made it through my skull at the edge of my forehead.  It cut the membrane surrounding my brain, but didn't damage my brain, and I have a small metal plate in my head.  Somehow during the struggle over the axe, my forearms were badly sliced up, and a tendon directly under my artery at my wrist was completely severed, but the artery wasn't hurt. When I was recovering and looked at my injuries, I guessed the artery that people slit their wrists to kill themselves must be buried deep in the wrist.  I was asking my physical therapist about it, and she looked at me in shock and said, "no, that IS where people slit their wrists." So I said, then how did he completely sever my tendon right underneath it?  Her eyes got wide and she gently said, "Nobody knows."

I am certain there were two angels there that night holding my head together.  That axe was extremely sharp and heavy, neighbors said it could have been used in a meat market, another said it looked like a tactical weapon.  The blows were so hard that I had to struggle for consciousness and my neck muscles hurt so much the next day.  I'm 1.5" shorter than I used to be but we all get shorter with age.  I asked my doctor what was my last height measurement before this and he somehow wouldn't answer me and danced around the question.  

There is no explanation other than God that I am alive today. A skeptic might ask, "Why would God allow any of it to happen at all?" and though it's hard for me to handle how much grief his mother is going through, there was one positive out of all of this.  One positive that I would gladly walk through five more of these experiences, and that is my atheist son and his atheist wife prayed for me that night, to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  They still don't profess to be Christians, but God's not done yet, because I am like that woman in a parable that keeps pestering a judge for justice until he finally grants what she wants.  I'm still praying, and God gives me peace.

I used to play racquetball with my son after all this happened.  After a match, I looked in his eyes and I asked him about what I've been afraid to ask him...if he and his wife were sincere when they prayed for me that night. He had told me right after the surgery that they had prayed and I froze. I was afraid he might have done that just to help me feel better and I had been so scared to ask. And I had learned not to ask him about being atheist because that dark wall would come up and that look on his face...and I didn't want to question his sincerity and the whole thing scared me so much because I have wept and wept and prayed and wept at the thought of his being an atheist. So I froze. And I didn't question him or react much on the outside. But we had played a game so many months later and I asked him as gently as I could if he and his wife really prayed, bracing myself for that look, that silence, that STORM. But it wasn't there, instead his eyes lit up and he smiled instantly and I knew, he glowed with the answer..."yes mom, we really prayed." and his peace, I can't explain it, the wall HAD been broken through, and I was still too scared to mess it up by saying the wrong thing so I didn't question his beliefs, I just hugged him. And okay I made sure they didn't pray to oden or anything...he laughed, he knew what I meant and he said no mom, they prayed to God, and I knew he meant the God that he grew up with and I could just see the joy in his face! That's the word I've been looking for, JOY. He had JOY in the thought of praying to God again...

For me, that makes it worth it.  A friend once said to me, "You must be relieved, because chances of anything like that happening again are so small."  I just smiled and didn't say anything.  Because when I look back at my life, I see a pattern of escalating trials, like I'm being prepared for something.  I don't think this is the worst trial I will go through.  If you read the Bible, we will all be going through some very tough trials, and there are Scriptures about pain during the end times that will surpass what I have been through.

And I think that is why I am here.  There is a warning.  There is a day of judgment coming.  The world is going to go through some very tough times and if you aren't secure with the Father, if you have never sought and received Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, today is a really good day to start.  The prophecies are coming alive off the pages.  The world calls it global warming, but God wrote about it long before, and so many other prophesies coming to pass.  

There is nothing more important in life than securing your future in eternity.  And that is only done through Jesus Christ to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.  I pray I see you in eternity some day.

More testimonies of how God has rescued me are still coming, God willing.